There were so many times after Ryan (my partner) passed that people said to me:
'You are so strong'
'I don't know how you do it'
'You are such a courageous woman'
And when I heard those words I felt proud :) A lot of them would never really know exactly how hard it had been, they wouldn't really know what those 'darkest hours' were like for me and that was fine...
There are 3 little girls who have been through just as much if not more than what I have been through... who will never really get the recognition for all the times they have had to be brave, courageous and INSPIRATIONAL!... For the days when they had to go back to school after their daddy passed and face all the children that already knew what had happened, the days when people would ask 'where is your Daddy today?' and they would reply with 'he's in heaven', for the days when they struggle to understand that despite what happens in movies their daddy cannot come back and visit them, for the week before fathers day when they would sit in class and bravely smile while making a fathers day card for a daddy who's face they will not see on father day... who still smile and shrug it off when that little boy comes to them and says 'you can't make a fathers day card because you don't HAVE a dad'
There are so many times that my girls had to be BRAVE when they were scared, or STRONG when they felt weak, when they were FORGIVING for hurtful things that were said and done when they where hurting inside and for that I am SO PROUD of them. My daughters are my inspiration, it is THEM that helped me through that showed me the light at the end of the tunnel and I want them to know:
You are my sunshine, my heart and soul and I am FOREVER grateful for all 3 of you, for every day I struggled, for every tear I cried, for every tantrum & nappy & mess I am grateful. I love you girls with all my 'bean'. YOU are all so STRONG and YOU girls, each and everyone of you are all the most courageous people I have ever known!!
'I am so PROUD to know you
I am so BLESSED to have you
and I am so HAPPY to call you my own'