I have been very fortunate throughout my journey of motherhood to have never had one of those children that liked to put things in their ears or noses..... that is until now!
Yep, the unspeakable has happened I, Gabrielle have one of THOSE children, the first sign of this great travesty came the week before last when Miss 2 came into my room saying 'that in dere' and her little finger was fidgeting with her right ear, I lay her head on my lap and low and behold there in her little ear canal was a purple bead. I admit she had done a wonderful job of estimating the bead to ear ratio as it was the perfect size to fill the external opening and luckily it had ventured no further. I head straight to the bathroom to get my tweezers, being ever so careful that I do not push the bead into her ear further I attempt the extraction...... with no luck!
Now with the doom of an impending hospital visit lingering in the back of my mind I venture to my craft room to see what excavation tools I have....... A Kemper K26 sculpting tool in my hand I make my way back to my little Miss who is very curios about what was about to unfold, I manage to slightly turn the bead to expose the hole where the string would usually thread thru and I hook the hole with the sculpting tool and manage to pull it out without any further complications...... I proceed to lecture her about putting things in her ears and then happy that the look on her face is one of complete understanding I continue with the rest of the day.......
No less than a week later I find myself at Lincraft, Miss 2 is quite bored and tired and to keep her distracted I pass her a turtle shaped cushion to hold, when I pass the turtle to the store attendant to pay for it I notice that 3/4 of the Lincraft hang tag is missing, I lift the hood of the stroller to reveal my daughter who is now spitting out a wad of soggy chewed on tag which I promptly discard and tell her 'Yuk!!' and I think nothing more of the whole incident!
That afternoon at school Miss 2l hadn't had her nap and was so grumpy and sooky, she decides to throw a massive crying tantrum, I being the mum I am decide to ignore the tantrum...... or at least attempt to ignore the tantrum to the best of my ability. Mid way thru in a waterfall of booger (sorry) out of her nose comes....... Yep....... another wad of chewed up Lincraft tag!! Both my friend and I are astonished and MORTIFIED!! Before I get the chance to grab it (ewwwwww) she sniffles and it goes straight back up there! In a panic I start saying 'No no no no no' and then in another flood of mucas out it comes again, this time I manage to get rid of the paper, I also look up her nose just to be sure she wasn't hiding anything else up there! I can't see anything........ Thank goodness!! These are the moment that make being a mummy so rewarding!!
So........ 6 days later I am sitting next to Miss 2 and I think 'Gee, her breath smells yucky' So I brush her teeth but can still smell this foul smell and it seems to be coming from her NOSE! I grab the torch and look up her nose and sure enough there right up the back of her right nostril I see the unmistakeable blue of the dreaded Lincraft tag....... 6 DAYS LATER!!!! I can hardly even believe it! So the next 2 hours is filled with my removal attempts!
#1 - Firstly I try the tweezers, But it is so far back that I can hardly reach it AND when I do finally reach it I can only remove tiny pieces because the paper is soggy and it just breaks apart!!
#2 - Next I try giving her a bath, I figure if she gets water up her nose it will more than likely run and the paper should come out 'naturally' No such luck!
#3 - My next attempt is to get her to sniff pepper, I am hoping that she will be able to sneeze the paper out, But even after 6 - 8 sneezes it is STILL firmly lodged up her nose!
#4 - In desperation I attempt something truly daring...... and slightly stupid! I tape the empty barrel of a pen over the hose of my vacuum, My vac has the WORST suction ever and just to be sure that it won't do my little one any harm I test it on myself first because the last thing I want it to hurt her, or emotionally scar her either!! Once I am confident the suction is within a safe range I try to suck the paper out from her nose........... NOTHING! The wonderful thing was that she was very willing to participate, She was rather intrigued by the whole fiasco!
#5 - Now doing what every internet accessible mum does I googled the situation, and found a very educational post about removing things from children's noses using Nasal CPR (this is the thing she absolutely HATED) but still I had no success... I was going to have to call in the professionals!
I made an appointment for the doctors for the next morning, and at our consultation we were referred to the ear, nose and throat specialist. I pay the $50 for the consultation (Thank goodness for Medicare) and we go into the doctor, feeling kinda guilty for all my attempts I dob myself into the specialist thinking I will get in trouble, He has a giggle to himself and praises my ingenuity!! LOL The doctor then attempts to remove the paper with his specialist tweezers but like me is only able to pull out tiny soggy pieces, He then sprays my little terror with a decongestant in hopes it will open the nasal passages and she will sneeze it out..... NOPE! By this stage the doctor is ready to put her on the waiting list for general anaesthetic to get it removed 'surgically' He decides to have one last try and HEY PRESTO out it comes!! It ended up being $50 well spent!! The doctor was a lovely man and I was very appreciative he turned on his cranky voice and said to Ryali 'Now, DO NOT stick things up your nose!
So now on Miss '2 18th birthday not only do I have an embarrassing and eventful story to tell but I also have the receipt for her $50 'nose job' PRICELESS!!!
Aren't kids GREAT!